You Must Make Sure You're Happy When You Leave Your Summer Places

No real changes. I have a feeling though that things are better in such a minor way I’m not noticing it. Like my looks for example. I have been going to the gym almost everyday for nearly a month. I’ve been taking spin classes, yoga classes and have noticed practically no difference. Perhaps I’m impatient. But I’m just not near how I want to look. Jeff made a comment last night about how good I look and if I’ve been working out. I was shocked and delighted by this. Perhaps I should really slow on the drinking. It’s just hard when everyone is already mad at me for not hanging out and hanging out to them is ultimately…drinking.

Today was a good day at work. I don’t know how I was so full of energy seeing as I had a pretty good buzz going last night. (3 drinks, 3 shots), and also got to bed late due to red bull being involved in one of those shots. This time spent up however didn’t go to waste. I prepared and packed lunch and breakfast for today, and had an engaging text conversation. I felt crazy when I awoke but somehow filled with energy and spirit, perhaps the red bull still. I got so much work done, and efficiently. While I don’t really care for the work I do, it still feels good.

I had intended to take a spin class after work today, but was wrong about the scheduled classes. I’m going to take one tomorrow and pilates with Anne. Also I had forgotten I told the girls at work I would go to happy hour with them. I have bailed every Friday that I’ve worked here, they don’t care for this too much. I think I’ll just grab one drink. Maybe a car bomb with Tina. Following this I am to meet up with Larry, Jeff and Shawn…to drink. So much for not drinking. But I suppose its okay aside from the money I’ll be spending because next week I get surgery resulting in serious pain killers, can’t drink that week. And then I have surgery again the second week in july. No drinking then. Perhaps I’ll try not to drink at all between the two surgeries! That could be positive!

I really want to buy a bass, and a couch and get my new tattoo! I will never have the money for these things. I need to paint, and have some bs artshow and hopefully sell some work. Larry will buy one of my paintings for $200, that’s a bass, or one session of my tattoo! I made a rule that I can’t get any of my tattoo done until I reach my fitness/health goal.

Despite all these constant complaints, I feel very confident in myself these days. I feel strong. I feel a willingness to confront issues for the most part.