What New Mystery Is This?

I drove across country with such sore eyes, bleak and weiry. A symphony upon deaf ears. So much of it feels like I hadn't slept in days. What a year.
I'll be driving up north in a week or so, with an empty hollow heart. I'm hoping this will ready me to absorb and find some new meaning.
I need to get away and become everything I'm not. I spend most of my days now with someone who magnifies, with his pressense, all of my insanity that needs to be done away with.
When I get out of here, I want all this heavy passion from me gone. I want to be detached as to never find anything baffling again, never feel broken up when fucked, never needing comfort or answers from anyone again.
How was I to be constructed this way? What place is there for genuine desire of understanding and mutual loyalty.
No matter what independence of lifestyle and character you hold...if you love the ones you love, need consistancy and stability in the people surrounding you, or that once did...it is you that is emotionally unstable, you that is pathetic. Or so I'm told. Or so I feel (fear)